Police Report on Forum Activity

UNDERCOVER GANG CRIME UNIT INVESTIGATION REPORT Date Reported: 09/15/2010 Time Reported: 08:54 AM Copies To: Honorary Judge xxxxxxx xxxxx How Received: Investigation Complaint Reporting Officer Name(s): xxxxxx xxxxxx TAG: xxxxx908 xxxxxx xxxxxx TAG: xxxxx177 xxxxxx xxxxxx TAG: xxxxx254 Case No: 654-091510B File No: 455B-2 Request: SEARCH WARRANT - ARREST NARRATIVE Our undercover unit was assigned the case No. 654-091510B regarding a reported illegal activity at DPreview.com forums (aka DP). Officer xxxxxx xxxxxx TAG:xxxxx908 participated in month long investigation during the month of August/2010. All the data recovered, along with recordings of the conversations between the members has been turned over to processing under the file No. 455B-2 FINDINGS Our officers corroborated the presence of heavy gang activity on the premises. The gangs that are more heavily involved in a heated rivalry go by the names "The Canonites" and "The Nikonians". Some other gangs exist but are routinely despised and considered too poor for territory competition: "The Sonys" (Italians?) and "The Olympusians" (Greeks?) In the investigation we uncovered that a disbanded gang "The Minoltas" have joined the Sonys but presents little or no threat to the Nikonians and Canonites. The main activity seems to center around shooting. In some cases we suspect mass murder since has been recorded members of both gangs talking about "going shooting all day". Each new gang member undergoes a hazing ritual in which the most vicious and old members curse them for their skills, call them 'amateurs' and tell them to 'go shooting' with 'the Rebels'. We could confirm that 'The Rebels" usually shoot indiscriminately at anything that flies, walks or swims and sometimes even at stationary objects using 'plastic' guns. The material of the weapons seems to give the members a status in the gang. For example weapons made of Magnesium-Alloy enjoy a high reputation (and price) and weapons made of Plastic are routinely derided. It does not matter if the weapon possessor cannot shoot to save his life – the weapon gives them some better ‘status’. Some gangs like the Nikonians have members that do not seem to be very brilliant since they give away the coordinates of their shooting using an embed GPS unit on their weapons. This could be also considered a bravado act - we are just not too sure yet. A group that seems to be routinely hated by each rival gang is "The Trolls". It's common that member of each gang accuse other members with a dissenting opinion of being 'trolls', while they themselves go trolling from time to time just for fun. After a few weeks of investigation, we concluded that the motivating factor on this criminal gang activity seems to be 'The Glass'. We could collect several samples of 'glass' and submitted them to evidence. We have to note that the gang members have different denominations for them, as in Canonites "L" glass, or Nikonian "VR" glass. Members that are just starting their criminal life usually cannot afford to purchase the goods, so they settle for "Tamron" glass, which some members of the high echelon deride and consider of poor quality but they still have it in their reserves and admire it while nobody is looking. It's common to observe 'flame wars' break out in which one community 'hammers' the other over the gun purchases and quality. Most recently the Nikonians are bragging about their new line acquisition "D7000" while the Canonites are mad that the expected firepower did not come with the new "60D" line. Pictures and references of the weapons are routinely found at DPreview and thus we need a search warrant to raid the location in question. We obtained detailed specifications and confessions from gang members. Traitors and deserters are found in both groups and risk their life on each switch in order to obtain better weapons and purchase more 'glass'. This activity is commonly called ‘To jump ship’. CONCLUSION We recommend a more detailed investigation and possible interrogations of suspects of both gangs. One particular individual mentioned quite frequently in the forums is Chase Jarvis (aka Chase-San) with apparent strong international connection to the Japanese Nikonian Yakuza. We also recommend witness protection and police escort for the members of a very poor gang group who are routinely derided by all the other gangs "The point and shooters". Apparently their criminal skill level and weapons are not at par with the rest. We also suggest the creation of a task force to investigate the 'glass' contraband and the confiscation of the weapons in question.

HaHa - but don't give up the day job ! -- Keith-C

Very good !! ROTFL -- Regards, Zeev Simon = family name so... call me Zeev! http://public.fotki.com/zeev-simon/ http://picasaweb.google.com/zeev.simon

I just joined up with the "Sigmas," a small non descript outfit, but one that's a moving target because they all pack Foveons. I still keep one foot in the Nikons, but just to stay alive... Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do... Dave

Chato wrote: I just joined up with the "Sigmas," a small non descript outfit, but one that's a moving target because they all pack Foveons. I still keep one foot in the Nikons, but just to stay alive... Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do... Dave

Chato wrote: I just joined up with the "Sigmas," a small non descript outfit, but one that's a moving target because they all pack Foveons. I still keep one foot in the Nikons, but just to stay alive
Yeah ... we Sigmaniacs prefer to do our shooting in broad daylight At night we need other tools .... But we are clever .. in our group we have quite a few members claiming to be anti-sigma .. supposed to be Pentax shooters , Canon or Nikon shooters et.c. this .. of course is just to confuse the REAL enimies .. the d... f..... Ricoh -gang
Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do... Dave

Just because you own one camera or another doesn't mean you are a fanboy. So how do you check off group fanboy status? I have a Canon and stay with it because I can't afford to switch. I dislike fanboys as much as anyone else. Weezy

Nikon is for biatches...with that little red line on every camera...eyeliner ?

Lior Patel wrote: Nikon is for biatches...with that little red line on every camera...eyeliner ?
they all wear those tiny red bikini

CarlosNunezUSA wrote: Some other gangs exist but are routinely despised and considered too poor for territory competition: "The Sonys" (Italians?)
overheard on one of the forums: "leave the lens. take the canolies." I'm not sure what that means but maybe it will help with the investigation?

linuxworks wrote:
CarlosNunezUSA wrote: Some other gangs exist but are routinely despised and considered too poor for territory competition: "The Sonys" (Italians?)
overheard on one of the forums: "leave the lens. take the canolies." I'm not sure what that means but maybe it will help with the investigation?
I'll report to my captain on that development. Lol

Since I am a long standing member of a little known offshoot community called the Voigtlanders I have been forced to seek an obscure hiding place in the mountains of the Amazonas in Colombia, If you don't hear from me again it's because they finally discovered my clandestined operation deep in the interior and I will never be heard from again. Hasta La Vista Baby. -- ' You don't have to have the best of everything to get the best out of what you do have'.

Bill Force wrote: Since I am a long standing member of a little known offshoot community called the Voigtlanders I have been forced to seek an obscure hiding place in the mountains of the Amazonas in Colombia, If you don't hear from me again it's because they finally discovered my clandestined operation deep in the interior and I will never be heard from again. Hasta La Vista Baby. -- ' You don't have to have the best of everything to get the best out of what you do have'.
We Sigmas have hoid about youse guys. Wanna go out tonight and smash some Canon heads? Dave

No Nathan, we go out and get drunk together though. (from John Wayne) -- ' You don't have to have the best of everything to get the best out of what you do have'.

You'll never take a single Canonite alive -- May the light be with you Stop global whining Stupid should hurt

IMAGE(http://dpzen.com/dpzattaches/dpzattaches4/http://4.static.img-dpzen.com/files/g/TS560x560~548775.jpg) Canonites hideout -- May the light be with you Stop global whining Stupid should hurt

Mentor_1 wrote: You'll never take a single Canonite alive
We prefer that they not be.

Flame war,,, YES
Bill Randall wrote:
Mentor_1 wrote: You'll never take a single Canonite alive
We prefer that they not be.

....because I prefer more advanced weaponry... something that can do rapid-firing.

You had me going for a very long time there.

Too late. The spelling police have already noted your transgression.

Bill Randall wrote: Too late. The spelling police have already noted your transgression.
Spell it anyways we wants to. And if you don't like it, you can kiss our glass... Dave

That is a great response and doggone it I can't think of a reply. I will get you next time. LOL

... your Six Sigma group will be able to beat off those nasty forum police. -- Marabou Muddler http://MMuddler.smugmug.com/Sports

MMuddler wrote: ... your Six Sigma group will be able to beat off those nasty forum police. -- Marabou Muddler http://MMuddler.smugmug.com/Sports
The Foveons dat we pack, will be able to shoot more den two shots a minute. But in de meantime, the quality of our bullets is duh best. As long as we gets duh drop on youse, your goose is cooked!!!! Dave

bikinchris wrote:
Sheesh! Do I LOVE the opportunity to trash Grammar nannies... (No offense) gul·li·ble ?g?l?b?l Show Spelled[guhl-uh-buhl] Show IPA –adjective easily deceived or cheated. Use gullable in a Sentence Also,gul·la·ble. It's an alternative spelling and perfectly correct! Dave

Chato wrote:
bikinchris wrote:
Sheesh! Do I LOVE the opportunity to trash Grammar nannies... (No offense) gul·li·ble ?g?l?b?l Show Spelled[guhl-uh-buhl] Show IPA –adjective easily deceived or cheated. Use gullable in a Sentence See images of gullable Search gullable on the Web Also,gul·la·ble. It's an alternative spelling and perfectly correct!
According to my dictionary, "gullible" is the preferred spelling and "gullable" is the rare spelling. Ya all should know that this forum does not tolerate anything less than the preferred standard. That thar rare standard is fur dem other forums. You know, the Canon forum. Sheeee!

According to my dictionary, "gullible" is the preferred spelling and "gullable" is the rare spelling.
So the rating is: "gullible" highly recommended "gullable" below average

These people believe that their weapons are so superior to the other gangs' weapons because they pay far more for them, and their "glass" is seen (by them) as so superior to the others, that they spend no time criticising or otherwise interacting with any other gangs. They believe that they are such superior shots that they ignore all the other gangs and spend their time actually posting images of their "hits" which they call "captures". They are particularly dangerous because they spend their time wandering urban streets, sometimes with black tape covering the weapon's name and shooting indiscriminately.

Chris59 wrote: These people believe that their weapons are so superior to the other gangs' weapons because they pay far more for them, and their "glass" is seen (by them) as so superior to the others, that they spend no time criticising or otherwise interacting with any other gangs. They believe that they are such superior shots that they ignore all the other gangs and spend their time actually posting images of their "hits" which they call "captures". They are particularly dangerous because they spend their time wandering urban streets, sometimes with black tape covering the weapon's name and shooting indiscriminately.
Send in W.G. ARTS - He da man for the job! Dave

flame wars
see, there they go again. cops jumping to conclusions without all the data. this is, in fact, referring to the li-ion rechargeable battery - shall we say - 'compatibility glitches' that have made the news (and newsgroups) of late. nothing to do with the various gangs that have been mentioned. yes, its true; some batteries have assaulted their owners. that is the cause of the flames. we need to declare war on batteries. yeah, that's the ticket.

The Canon Fanboys are keeping an eye on EVERYONE with their 5,200 mm biggy There is a 5D2 somewhere on the back end! IMAGE(http://dpzen.com/dpzattaches/dpzattaches4/http://3.static.img-dpzen.com/files/g/TS560x560~549890.jpg)

The little knob on the right is the 5D2 IMAGE(http://dpzen.com/dpzattaches/dpzattaches4/http://4.static.img-dpzen.com/files/g/TS560x560~549914.jpg)

Mentor_1 wrote: The little knob on the right is the 5D2 IMAGE(http://dpzen.com/dpzattaches/dpzattaches4/http://4.static.img-dpzen.com/files/g/TS560x560~549914.jpg)
What !? OMG, weapons of mass destruction too? - I'll call the FBI for backup!!!

Looks like a film camera to me. -- http://www.sammysoliman.smugmug.com/

What! You don't want to play!
sammysoliman wrote: Looks like a film camera to me. -- http://www.sammysoliman.smugmug.com/

Priceless, thanks for the laugh. Jeff

Jeff777 wrote: Priceless, thanks for the laugh. Jeff
You're welcome

Why was the section on the the film mob suppressed? These people effectively operate within the wider 'digigang structure' as a secret society and although much of their communication is coded in terms only their group understands, it is clear that they are essentially a front for people indulging in substantial chemical abuse in darkened rooms. Be careful if dealing with these people. At least one one well known Canadian investigator who sought to expose them has simply 'disappeared'. Be warned. -- Sean

They were expensive, but I feel very well worth it. Feel free to contact either, Paul Dewey, Larry Cheatum, or Nathan Howe, at the Law Firm; Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe. Contact number, (800) 555-1234. Tell em, Conrad sent ya.
CarlosNunezUSA wrote: UNDERCOVER GANG CRIME UNIT INVESTIGATION REPORT Date Reported: 09/15/2010 Time Reported: 08:54 AM Copies To: Honorary Judge xxxxxxx xxxxx How Received: Investigation Complaint Reporting Officer Name(s): xxxxxx xxxxxx TAG: xxxxx908 xxxxxx xxxxxx TAG: xxxxx177 xxxxxx xxxxxx TAG: xxxxx254 Case No: 654-091510B File No: 455B-2 Request: SEARCH WARRANT - ARREST NARRATIVE Our undercover unit was assigned the case No. 654-091510B regarding a reported illegal activity at DPreview.com forums (aka DP). Officer xxxxxx xxxxxx TAG:xxxxx908 participated in month long investigation during the month of August/2010. All the data recovered, along with recordings of the conversations between the members has been turned over to processing under the file No. 455B-2 FINDINGS Our officers corroborated the presence of heavy gang activity on the premises. The gangs that are more heavily involved in a heated rivalry go by the names "The Canonites" and "The Nikonians". Some other gangs exist but are routinely despised and considered too poor for territory competition: "The Sonys" (Italians?) and "The Olympusians" (Greeks?) In the investigation we uncovered that a disbanded gang "The Minoltas" have joined the Sonys but presents little or no threat to the Nikonians and Canonites. The main activity seems to center around shooting. In some cases we suspect mass murder since has been recorded members of both gangs talking about "going shooting all day". Each new gang member undergoes a hazing ritual in which the most vicious and old members curse them for their skills, call them 'amateurs' and tell them to 'go shooting' with 'the Rebels'. We could confirm that 'The Rebels" usually shoot indiscriminately at anything that flies, walks or swims and sometimes even at stationary objects using 'plastic' guns. The material of the weapons seems to give the members a status in the gang. For example weapons made of Magnesium-Alloy enjoy a high reputation (and price) and weapons made of Plastic are routinely derided. It does not matter if the weapon possessor cannot shoot to save his life – the weapon gives them some better ‘status’. Some gangs like the Nikonians have members that do not seem to be very brilliant since they give away the coordinates of their shooting using an embed GPS unit on their weapons. This could be also considered a bravado act - we are just not too sure yet. A group that seems to be routinely hated by each rival gang is "The Trolls". It's common that member of each gang accuse other members with a dissenting opinion of being 'trolls', while they themselves go trolling from time to time just for fun. After a few weeks of investigation, we concluded that the motivating factor on this criminal gang activity seems to be 'The Glass'. We could collect several samples of 'glass' and submitted them to evidence. We have to note that the gang members have different denominations for them, as in Canonites "L" glass, or Nikonian "VR" glass. Members that are just starting their criminal life usually cannot afford to purchase the goods, so they settle for "Tamron" glass, which some members of the high echelon deride and consider of poor quality but they still have it in their reserves and admire it while nobody is looking. It's common to observe 'flame wars' break out in which one community 'hammers' the other over the gun purchases and quality. Most recently the Nikonians are bragging about their new line acquisition "D7000" while the Canonites are mad that the expected firepower did not come with the new "60D" line. Pictures and references of the weapons are routinely found at DPreview and thus we need a search warrant to raid the location in question. We obtained detailed specifications and confessions from gang members. Traitors and deserters are found in both groups and risk their life on each switch in order to obtain better weapons and purchase more 'glass'. This activity is commonly called ‘To jump ship’. CONCLUSION We recommend a more detailed investigation and possible interrogations of suspects of both gangs. One particular individual mentioned quite frequently in the forums is Chase Jarvis (aka Chase-San) with apparent strong international connection to the Japanese Nikonian Yakuza. We also recommend witness protection and police escort for the members of a very poor gang group who are routinely derided by all the other gangs "The point and shooters". Apparently their criminal skill level and weapons are not at par with the rest. We also suggest the creation of a task force to investigate the 'glass' contraband and the confiscation of the weapons in question.

Conrad Birdie wrote: They were expensive, but I feel very well worth it. Feel free to contact either, Paul Dewey, Larry Cheatum, or Nathan Howe, at the Law Firm; Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe. Contact number, (800) 555-1234. Tell em, Conrad sent ya.
It is a LAW FIRM. Was there ever any doubt?

I called them but they were too busy so I then called "Al Bundy's" lawfirm of "Habib and Habib".....of course Al always lost anyway. -- ' You don't have to have the best of everything to get the best out of what you do have'.

The Olympians DO NOT sleep with the fishes. True, their newest big gun was deemed "insufficient" by many of the gang members, and this has caused some internal feuding. However many of them have moved to lighter more portable guns, and have taken the lead in street guerrilla warfare. Their loose alliance with the Panasonians seems to be paying off. Then, one of their smarter Capos, Nicky "the Adapter" Popandopolis, discovered that he could mount a Sigma 200-500mm Super Bigma on his E620 for greater firepower. And this changed everything. View: original size

We's commin wit da 5200 and yous be sleepin wit da fishes soon enuff Da contrack is yous Flashy,,, no screw ups or you be wit da fishes IMAGE(http://dpzen.com/dpzattaches/dpzattaches4/http://3.static.img-dpzen.com/files/g/TS560x560~549890.jpg)
Marty4650 wrote: The Olympians DO NOT sleep with the fishes. True, their newest big gun was deemed "insufficient" by many of the gang members, and this has caused some internal feuding. However many of them have moved to lighter more portable guns, and have taken the lead in street guerrilla warfare. Their loose alliance with the Panasonians seems to be paying off. Then, one of their smarter Capos, Nicky "the Adapter" Popandopolis, discovered that he could mount a Sigma 200-500mm Super Bigma on his E620 for greater firepower. And this changed everything. View: original size

Clearly I am in dangerous company.

down by the lake. They just stood there, at the side, and then they opened fire, taking hundred or thousands of shots at a time at a poor innocent duck.

Hilarious, though I'm a little worried because I am cheating on my Canonites with a petite girl called the LX5 from the Panny race. I considered another Canon but my last relationship with an Elph didn't work out so well. I'm still armed with my L glass, but needed a girl that could blend in with the other "compacts" and get past security. I fear for the other cheaters and most of all for the traitors who switch gangs, particularly when one gang gets the upper hand on glass or tools. Please keep this between us.

Which of the gangs hit others up for their lunch money??

new SD1 Sigma gang... be afraid... h. -- http://www.flickr.com/photos/eirod/

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